My plan for tomorrow

I am going to write this here because if I tell all you than I have to be accountable.

9:00am
Wake up, drink a glass of water & take my cleanse while making breakfast. I think I shall have non-fat yogurt, egg whites scrambled, and two peices of turkey bacon.

9:15am
Eat breakfast with a glass of water, do my hair whilst dancing to my new jam.

9:40am-12:00pm
Hangout at home and make my shopping list-- Any ideas? anyone have a good low cal recipe? or snack?

12:00pm
Groceries, try and get them up to my condo without falling over or having my arms fall off. Maybe finding a man who will carry them up for me.
lunch.

1:30pm
GYMGYMGYMGYMGYMGYMGYM

3:00pm
Relax rewind and reclaim.
taking a bath sounds good, maybe I will by a bath bomb :)

5:00pm
Dinner: Veggies & chicken


9:00pm
GYMGYMGYMGYMGYMGYM

Sounds like a fun day right? not really.. but that is my life. I do feel good and healthy when I do days like this. What is your day like?

wtf.

Why can't I just stick with it. I feel afraid to eat, and now when I do eat I go crazy. Back in the day I stuggled with anorexia and over exercise, I think i am afraid I will get it again and I am always struggling with food. I feel obsessed. I am thinking about it all the time, it is healthy? is it fattening? how much will I gain if I eat this? I really want a fucking cheeseburger.. i had lasagna today at east side mario and it was so good, I allowed myself to have it because if I don't indulge in the things I love than one of these days I am going to snap and eat everything including the pedestrians on the way to the grocery store. So I am going to concentrate on drinking more water and taking my fibre and see if that helps at all which it should. I have let go of my strictness with myself that I had for the first week and I have got to get my mojo back, bitches.